Funny stuff

[6T4 Bird]

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_______________________! ______


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all
______________________________


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! , and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________ !

;
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
According to a news report, a certain private school in Markham, OH
recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls
were
beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press
their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night
the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Several memos were posted about this without effect. Finally, the
Principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the
maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing

problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked
the
maintenance man to show the girls just how hard it was.
Following the instructions, the man took out a long-handled squeegee,
solemnly dipped it in the nearest toilet bowl, and scrubbed at the
mirror. there was complete silence in the room.